Monday, November 13, 2006

It's just another day

I haven't seen Nero in awhile. Then again, my sleep schedule's been so bad, my work so mind numbing, and my prayer and meditation so nonexistent, that should not surprise me.

I'm so ticked right now. I did the TKR Mission this week, something I don't often get to do, and the task turned out to be Travis Walton's location when he was abducted.

Now wouldn't you think, given some of my Bewilderness experiences are highly similar to his in some respects, that I would be GREAT at this? I mean, who else should be better at it? But Noooooooo.

First I sat down to do the session and was chronically interrupted by a song, to the degree I had to stop viewing altogether for the day. It is rare that I can't keep my mind quiet and this was ridiculous. The line was from a disney movie no less (how embarrassing) where it goes,

"It means no worries, for the rest of your days! It's our problem-free... philosophy... Hakuna Matata!"

I know. It's just too stupid to believe.

The next two times I tried, I was sure I was awake enough. I was awake plenty all through a brief relaxation. The minute I went to start writing, I passed out abruptly. So much for that.

This morning I was wired, and drank a cold soda, and left the blanket off sitting up on my bed with my computer as I was kinda cold and that helped too, to be SURE I could not fall asleep.

And I couldn't do it! I was totally in denial. I tried. I knew that the denial was me, but I chalked it up to the fact that it's been a little while since I viewed, I took a break, and I figured it was just typical internal resistance to viewing.

It didn't really occur to me that it would be internal resistance to the specific target, since I would not have guessed that I was actually resistant to anyything in that way.

I'm totally fascinated with Walton's account, mostly because I pointedly lived in a cave concerning UFO media -- avoided it like the plague, thought I was just 'more rational' than people who didn't, haha! -- and by the time I actually read an account about him online, I was dumbfounded by the elements my own spontaneous esoteric experiences had in common with some of what he described. Not all, but some.

And so here was my chance. My Big. Grand. Chance. To actually get an inside psychic look at that situation -- I've really done very few esoteric targets to be honest -- and I can't believe it... my session was lousy! (Sessions are in TKR at the dojo, visit and click the box that says 'current missions' on the login screen, then when you submit it'll take you right to that area.)

I know I'm a whiner. But I wanted to do well on a target like this. I'm so aggravated!

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