Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Immortal

I went to bed early. I meditated a bit first. I got this awesome Creative 30G Zen player -- like a video iPod but better -- so I put on my favorite meditation music (the Narnia soundtrack) and finally got into it.

I had a different urge than I ever had before, and spent some time imagining myself in/at the very core of the earth, which had a sort of offbeat feeling, can't remember why. I fell asleep in the middle of that.

When I woke up this morning I was 20,000 leagues under the sea it felt like. I'd slept more than I usually do, but it took about six attempts over half an hour, including shaking and light, for someone else to get me awake.

I had this two-part dream.

In the first part, I was working with a group of people who weren't my people -- I mean they weren't human. We were doing a research study and I was one of the key subjects, but they were treating me like a coworker as well, and we were reviewing the research results.

It had to do with human experience with their species. We had a fairly large trial pool of subjects, of which I had been one prior to my current place reviewing results with them. We explored the data. It was clear that although nearly-all the humans were having the interaction with their people, only a super tiny percentage (like less than 1%) were able to become cognitively aware of this. The reasons ranged from health to psychology issues, but the general consensus we had was that although the humans considered this awareness to be a form of insanity or related to it anyway, that it was in fact evidence of a good deal more physical and psychological 'clarity' on the humans' part who were able to be 'aware' of it.

The second part of the study had to do with the frequency of exposure. This was the part that really threw me for a loop. They showed how on average in 24 hours, humans passed through a sort of... you might call it a cycle, kind of like how brainwaves cycle except this is more like a larger earth cycle we are just part of, but that does interact with our minds -- and we were exposed to them generally about four times during each 24 hour period. This kind of amazed me. I was saying, but I thought this was something that only happened when we were asleep, or walking through the woods ha-ha-ha, are you sure? FOUR times per 24 hours?! So they sort of showed me (though I can't put it in words) how and why this was the case. I know I'm translating it badly, but it felt like something to do with four cardinal points and our brainwaves and the rotation of the earth.

Then we reviewed how the 'awareness' of the population and the 'frequency' of the interaction varied with many of the subjects. For example, even of those humans able to become 'aware' of the 'during-sleep' exposure to their species, just as low a % of them were able to be aware of the occasional exposure that happened at periods other than sleep. The very few who did, usually psychologically were associating their experience with something like a place -- for example, the route they drove every day, they would think they were being abducted from their car or something, when really, everyone was exposed "on this other level of consciousness" and for them the cycle just happened to fall during their long drive.

We also explored how some people thought they had an exposure to their species as a one-time thing, and it wasn't that it was a one-time thing, it was just that for a variety of reasons (often health, psychology, the cycle, the type of experience, whatever) they were only aware of that one particular experience and none of the others. Something to do with what % of a person's overall attention they turn toward that level of themselves vs. having it (as is normal) split, and so much less intense.

Oh yeah that reminds me, another factor was that the four cycles weren't the same for everyone. Even though it was a larger earth-based 'pattern of cycle', it related to the individual's interaction with that on an energetic level, so people varied "when" and sometimes how often (more or less) depending on their own cycles.

Then there was this second part of the dream.

I was working with this group of people who weren't my people -- but I don't know if it was the same group as the first time, I'm just assuming so -- doing a lot more complex stuff. It was a combination of testing (them testing me), and experimenting with what I could do, perceive, etc. as a conscious test subject.

Then just about everything was completed, and the room changed into a bedroom, and they said, "We can tie you, if you like." They acted like this was a good idea and I should agree. For what, I asked? For The Immortal, they say. It came across with that word and the sense of a capital. The Immortal was 'superior' to them in their perception, like part of a different species with a higher authority you might say.

I said naw, I'll talk to him, casual as I always am. So he comes in the room, and I nearly pass out. I don't know why, but he terrified me. He was at least three times as big as me, although now awake I think that might have been not his body but his aura. He was almost the archetypal 'demon' image of our culture, and reminded me greatly of what a close friend of mine told me he has seen in his viewing and 'experiences', which I assured him I had never encountered, despite all my many alien-ish experiences. He had some kind of spiky-things on his shoulders and too-small bat-wing things. And he was ugly. But it wasn't the body; I wasn't really responding to that, I was just 'observing' it. It was the energy that freaked me out. It was so "intense," and so "large". So frightening to me.

The energy of an Archangel is frightening too of course, on a really deep level of mortal terror, but that is the fear of God, it is fright based on 'awe' and the soul's realization that too close exposure could do the equivalent of vaporize you. This was not that kind of fright, but still seemed like the gut-inspired sort.

I found myself on the bed naked (this will teach me to wear pajamas to bed, ha!) and I realized as he came toward me that the intent was that he was going to have sex with me. I leaped off the bed and went, I DON'T THINK SO YOU GUYS! He stopped, and looked at the others with me. One of the guys pulled out a sheet of paper and said, "See, you agreed to work with us on this." I said dude, sex with your freaky Immortal was NOT what I agreed to! A female there said to me, "Oh come on. You had to know from the beginning that this was intended at the end!" I looked at her like she was crazy. "I think not!" I denied. "Maybe I was stupid or inattentive, but I never agreed to this, and there is NO WAY I am merging with that -- that -- thing!"

Oddly enough, it wasn't the sex part that bothered me -- it was the understanding that it would merge my ENERGY with his that was really upsetting me. It was like it was rape. I mean even if I had agreed to it, it would have been rape, that is the 'effect' the energy would have on me, in a really severe way.

Suddenly I realized why they had offered to tie me. They'd hoped I'd say yes. And I'd been so oblivious. Here I'd spent a whole day studying research about how oblivious humans were -- and then promptly proved it in my own way.

Then the 'context' of the dream shifted, and instead of me being in the situation, I was watching a woman in a movie. But some little part of my mind was 'aware' that this was still me, and that this 'movie effect' was in fact one way they had of dealing with my species. They couldn't keep some of us from being aware. But they could kind of lean on us to "shift perspective," in much the same way that a therapist can have someone "imagine" seeing a past traumatic experience on a television instead of re-experiencing it personally.

It didn't help them. Despite that I had this strong sense from the others that I was supposed to be *flattered* this 'Immortal' wanted to merge with me, I considered his energy a direct threat to mine... as if the experience would genuinely do me harm spiritually.

I half-realized (not entirely lucid on this, only partly) that this was a new and novel approach to me. They keep coming back and trying to convince me to join them or sign something, but usually they are more direct. I usually find myself in dreams standing with my legs staunch, like a captain on board a ship, shouting loud like a magical cadence, I AM OF MICHAEL! YOU CANNOT HAVE ME! I AM OF MICHAEL! over and over, and they have to leave me, obviously ticked off about how innately I snap to that the minute awareness of their attempt to get my commitment became clear.

This was novel though, because I didn't have that response this time, maybe because of the different way they approached it this time. They never asked for my agreement on the level they wanted, they'd only asked for something I was willing to do because I'm so interested in research, and I think they hoped that the merge of energy, if I could be persuaded to it, would in turn make me a lot more susceptible.

I was being woke up as I was refusing, and it was pulling me away from them. It felt like they were trying to hold me there, and my body was having such a hard time waking up, but then I'd be forcibly woken up again, until finally I woke up fully, and at least as far as I know, pulled myself away from them in the process.

The overall experience particularly with the 'research' initially really underscored how our concept that these things have to be physical on *our* level is just so, so wrong. It's just as real, but culturally we are geared to deny anything non-physical. At times I've had the impression this is one of many cultural things they themselves 'encourage' in our species for their own ends.

Later when awake, I was kind of disappointed I hadn't responded like I normally do. As if it is a sign of my having paid so much less attention to Michael and prayer for some time. Time to re-affirm that part of my life.

When I finally woke up, I thought to myself, "Like they have nothing better to do but recruit you during your sleep. Like you are so important. Get over yourself, sheesh!" and I threw on a dress and took the kid to school.

It's just another day.

1 comment:

r said...

zen eh#1 - i have one of those they are awsome - i dumped my ipod for it as the sound and video quality is sooo much better - welcome to the club"