Truth

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 04 September 2005

Sewing (sowing?) the thread of truth. That's my job if I want to hold the line.

[This section greatly edited/reduced in 1999 because it was trivia that I felt distracted from the worthiness of the rest of the post.] I had cause to wonder at length about people who lie all the time, and the amount of lying involved in the UFOlogy and Remote Viewing fields and especially their media.

Anyway. I went to sleep after that and had a striking, very linear sort of dream.

I was sitting in a room at a table with half a dozen nuns. One was clearly in charge. We were discussing this issue. One of the understandings I got was that the more somebody talked, the more difficult it is for them to (and the more unlikely it is that they can) "hold the feel of truth." In the dream I could feel this like an actual energy that went through the chakras of my body and connected, grounded deep and solidly into the earth. The more one thought before speaking, and "felt inside themselves" to "find the thread of truth" first, the more familiar they got with the feel (of truth). I realized that a couple of the nuns hardly spoke if at all, and that they had some profound understanding of these concepts, as a result of this silent experience.

It was shown me that the more out of balance certain energies are, the more a person will talk, the less 'truth' will be in it, and over time, the less they are able to feel truth and what is not (until, at the more extreme cases, they lose all ability to distinguish). This problem energy is felt in the body, not just some metaphysical plane, though our culture hasn't recognition of it or words for it. This lack of balance causes a great need for the person to 'express'. Not only that, but the more 'attention' they can get from others to take in their energy, the more they can disperse, so they are drawn not only to talking but to as many as possible. It is like they are pulling in a stream of energy that is not good for them, has no resonance with their body or spirit really, and so they subconsciously have a terrible need to vent it, to find a source willing to take it in, to get it through and out of them.

This is done with talk. It can be done in other forms.

I tuned back into the questions that brought the dream on. The nuns and I, like a group lesson/exploration, 'experienced' how people like this are just ... well, they are ill. This... problem is as much a spiritual (and psychological and even slightly physical) illness as a bleeding wound or viral infection would be. In most cases the condition is an accidental thing they themselves gradually brought on over the course of their lives, by never bothering to care much about truth vs. the need for attention. (I felt as a "subthought" that the need for attention was one of the primary causes of untruth, that the truth is a maintaining energy [hard to phrase this; you might say 'it feeds you'], that the more lack-of-truth one has, the more one 'needs' energy from others, and hence needs 'attention' from others [they 'pay' attention, as the Narrator once put it] and hence this became sort of a cycle/spiral.)

No conspiracies were necessary, I saw. My wondering about that was misled. Not that there aren't any conspiracies, simply that pathological lying is its own problem aside from that. It was natural that people with such problems would be drawn to the UFO/RV fields and drawn to seek media exposure.

I started talking then. I could feel the shift of energy inside me. I realized (in the dream) that if I conserved my words to only speak the truth, I would feel again---as I have many times before---the clear sense that there is really very little to say.

I think that is why, when being "intuitive," I often have the weird need to pull in lots of sounds I have to find words for. This makes any given sentence impossibly long (and seemingly, more metaphysical and less specific). It is like I am trying to find the right shape. Like I cannot change what I have to begin with, as I am using English. But I can "feel" it isn't right. So I have to add in enough other ingredients (sound-shapes) to change the overall product. So the meaning of the shape of the sound, better matches the meaning of the words in our language.

We practiced back and forth. I found that if I really delved into myself to find the utter-truth, the most profound energy of that, that I became less and less willing to speak at all. It was like, the more attuned I was to truth in a spiritual sense, the more I felt that general conversation did not---could not---touch it.

It had not occurred to me before that maybe this is not a polarity-thing; maybe things are not just 'truth vs. lies'. Apparently there is an entire... 'existence' which is not a 'lie' per se, but is not truth, either. It is more like, "not applicable." As if, our world is illusion, but it floats on the surface of truth and has some points in common. Some things, you can 'dive below' and feel the truth and pull it up 'through' our world. Truth has incredible power here, actually. (If it doesn't seem like it, I suspect it's more a matter of there being so little of it, rather than it not having immense power.) Most the conversations about our world itself (daily conversation) is not a truth. That doesn't make them a lie. It is more like, they are unrelated to real-truth because the logical stuff is entirely based in the floating illusion we live in.

Truth, in this case, is not just an issue of whether the surface-meaning of a word fits a situation in our world. It is almost as if there really should be two different words involved here because there are two very different concepts. Like the eskimos and all their words for snow, we have only one word for 'truth'. That is partly because intellectually we have failed to articulate---perhaps because spiritually, most of us have failed to notice---the profound difference.

There is what we call truth in our surface world, meaning, it is not a deliberate or even accidental inaccuracy about this-world's situations. But there is another thing, an energy which is "of the spirit" I suspect is how the nuns would describe it---it is like the fundamental energy-cloth, the fundamental fabric of our universe, which we can use as part of ourselves, for our constant creation. (It is the energy of Creation itself, with a capital C, I suddenly feel. When we create with truth running through us and our creations, it is a very powerful, primal thing.)

This has literally nothing to do with the surface-chatter about our reality that we live in the soup of most the time. "It is raining," or "I went to the store," these are not lies, but they are not of the energy of 'truth' that is of the spirit, either. They are simply surface discussion that are not intellectually-linearly inaccurate.

It is not that one cannot have casual conversation. It's that one must be aware that this is what it is; one must have sufficient 'truth' energy within them that the constant barrage of "surface trivia" that is not-truth (though it is not-lie, simply not-applicable) doesn't pull one away from intimate familiarity with 'the feel of truth'.

By expressing my energy in a way that was surface and separate from truth (not a lie; just... "idle chatter"), I moved farther and farther from the feel of it; from the thread of it running through me. Throwing in some exaggerations and more, I finally lost it altogether. The more I realized that, and realized the nuns were watching how I learned from this, the more I tried to justify and explain myself---intellectually alas, not by "feel"---to the nuns, especially the woman in charge.

I noticed that when I truly "lost the feel of truth," that I got a lot more intellectual all the sudden, even downright technical, as if this were an overcompensation. I tried ever-harder with "specific LOGICAL detail," like a tool, never alas achieving the feeling of 'truth' with it that subconsciously I was aiming for and felt it would obtain.

Our conscious minds think that accuracy is truth. Accuracy relates to surface-details and our interactions. Truth in a spiritual sense is something that there is no other word to define; it simply IS. There is no.... how do I articulate this... there is no accuracy or inaccuracy concerning real Truth (with a capital T). Truth simply IS in the most profound and fundamental way. Nothing can be said about it at all, because all the words we have are but shallow surface reflections.

That reminds me of something. Wonder if it's related. O Nuit, continuous one of Heaven, let it be ever thus; that men speak not of Thee as One but as None; and let them speak not of thee at all, since thou art continuous! -- Liber al vel Legis

At a slight signal from her they all got up from the table, and quietly walked away from me. I followed them as we went down a hallway, with them continuing away from me. I sort of understood at that point, that it was my conscious wondering about truth that brought us into contact. They are, you might say, experts on this subject. Many in their order do not speak at all.

The dream changed. I found myself with two individuals I used to work with, both of whom were extremely untruthful as personalities, though I liked them. They were going to give me a ride home. I realized this was the real lesson: if I could not "hold the line" of truth well enough, those within that energy would not associate with me, as they would quite literally have nothing in common with me. Those who were themselves living in some rebound, refractive non-truth, would be drawn to me like kindred spirits. I remembered the "birds of a feather" saying and how it has always seemed quite valid to me.

I considered how many people I cannot associate with because there simply is no 'connect' between us; I feel they have no connection to whatever truth I hold. It is as if they are "not applicable" to my reality. Then I considered how often I feel the issue with J, almost from the other side; he seems to have a... maybe a larger experience of truth, much of which I have no comprehension of. He couldn't tell me about it if he wanted to; words can't convey this. People either have it running through them, and understand because it is part of them, or they don't. All education is internal in this regard and can't be given on the surface to others.

I realized that I need to pay more attention in my daily life to talking less, and thinking more. To pause before answering. To FEEL inside myself: "What is the truth, and the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" before speaking, or writing.

Interesting, the part about the nuns. Do they actually do that "vow of silence" thing in today's day and age?

I'm not catholic. The closest I've ever come to any nuns is perhaps passing them in a shopping mall or something.

Dynamics vs. Objects

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 28 August 2005

Everything you see is faking you out. But what you don't see is faking you out even more.

I was inattentive just now. I was reading through PhP code, attempting to figure out how I could clone and hack a cool blog plugin someone else made, to make another thing out of it. In the back of my brain while I wasn't paying much attention, I was thinking of an Aikido master I once met, who in an introduction of his art to our Judo class, showed us how our ability to lift him ranged from physically impossible (the man was unmoveable stone) to easy (he was a little guy and light as a feather). This was running vaguely through my brain sponsored by a Swann quote (mentioning "Ahkido" as I think he wrote it) that had just flashed by earlier on the blog. The man had said if we were interested we might consider pursuing Aikido at some point. I never did learn much about that except one could 'imagine' themselves as lighter or heavier.

So as I was reading through code I was half-daydreaming, and then all the sudden I wasn't daydreaming any more; it wasn't "mine". It was more like a real dream except rather first-person. I was sitting on the ground, on a sort of mat which had sticks on each side, like in 3rd world countries or the old days, people might be carried on. Two young men were on each side of me, with others looking on, and I showed them this 'trick' of changing 'how heavy I was' to them picking up the thing I sat upon. I would have them go away for a few minutes between each attempt. Someone asked me, "Can you put it into simple words, to explain what you are doing with your mind? How do you change your body?"

And the me-in-the-daydream-that-I-was-not-running (go figure. Who was running it?!) was thinking to myself, "That is the wrong assumption. I did not really change my body. I changed their experience of my body. But how do I explain that?" And finally I settled on something, and heard myself saying (to translate),

We think of 'things' in our world. We think of objects, which have... properties. The floor is flat and solid; the body is heavy and weighs a certain number of pounds. We think of this as if they are all "things," standing alone without regard to all the other things in our reality. We think of their attributes as indisputable.

Yet the dynamics of how reality works are about relationships, not about things. It is not so important what I weigh. What changed was not the weight of my body, but my body's relationship to the ground, and to you, and to your attempt to lift me. All three of those relationships are involved in the process of your lifting me.

Just as that ended, my mind kicked in and realized all this had taken place like "someone else's life that I was sitting in on." I thought to myself, "What a wonderful insight!"

After this morning's meditations I was hoping that I might be more open to perceptions such as psi throughout my day. I suspect I was consciously thinking of precog for the most part. I wonder if "sudden insights" qualify.

I Miss Alex

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 25 August 2005

He says the 500 mile walk across Europe was too easy. Of course, he's only 73, and as he explained, he overtrained a bit with the daily gym and weekend hikes. Yeah . . . that happens to me all the time.

A White Russian; child of the generation of escape. An observer once said that meeting Alexander made him suddenly aware that he was from the lineage of nobility: tall and graceful, with a 'class' and honor that imprints anybody with half a wit. Born in France, schooled around Europe, as a teen he left to Argentina when his mother agreed to marry a man there. While he and his mother were on the ship crossing the sea, the man died, leaving them to land with nothing and nobody in a strange country. He lived there 14 years. Got a college degree in journalism. "Played football (soccer) and chased women," is what he says of his youth. Eventually, he immigrated to the USA, with essentially nothing. His wife once told me that he'd walked miles each way to work hellishly hard for pittance on the longshoreman docks of New York.

It's hard to imagine. When I met him, he was entrepreneur of a tiny company: a perfect idea ahead of its very imperfectly-timed market. Before that he'd been CEO of a successful publishing corp. (college textbooks for math and statistics, Duxbury). A white collar executive in the San Francisco area; a long way from the longshoreman life. He sold his firm to a larger company eventually, which in turn sold to a bigger fish. Not a bureaucrat, being a number didn't appeal to him at all, though.

He believed internet and "interactive" education was the wave of the future, and hiring his favorite statistics author to help develop "online education" he left to try it out. It was early 1990's when his idea began; the mid-90's before it began in the physical. It was late 1999 when Dr. Jessica Utts, the Managing Editor, sent me an email. Many years prior, I'd laboriously HTML'd some papers for her, which in 1996 had to use teeeny little graphics for every special character and they were statistics research papers no less. I did it for free when I was temporarily very poor, in exchange for getting the article, one of the most worthwhile scientific reviews of remote viewing in print. She asked me if I'd help, I was in a good space to do so, and so by Christmas, I was buried in thousands of FrontPage coded frameset files, every page and nav with its own unique javascript. (There is a special hell awaiting their former webmaster for my suffering, if life is fair at all.)

Alex handed me autonomy and left me to finish and open his company alone -- on Y2K. He was going to be in Cambodia. He'd waited all his life to take some vacations, wasn't getting any younger, had planned it long in advance, and wasn't going to put it off merely because after years of work, he was opening his computer-based company on the most frightening computer day of all time.

I suppose at a certain age, hindsight gives you foresight, too. I worked through Christmas, the world didn't melt down, and Alex came home and sent me a huge pot of flowers and some postcards from the far side of the world.

I've grown up a lot the last 5 years. Much of it is thanks to him, who helped reparent me in the ways of patience, a quality I'd not been much exposed to. He put up with the worst of me and encouraged the best. He tried without success to tame my emails into mere novelettes. Like my previous most-favorite boss, the incorrigible Dan McGee (last I heard he'd founded a firm called Oregon Rain), he knows creativity and brains when he sees them, knows competence when he finds it, and never had even a shred of the "you don't have a formal degree" attitude. They both totally overworked me, yet gave me sincere respect and positive encouragement, and treated me far better than they treated themselves. I'd probably have happily worked to the grave for either of them.

Last year Alex sold the online statistics course (the CMS tech of which I built in SQL/CFML) to the company he'd founded and led all those years before. He worked hard to do it in a way that would keep me employed. That nearly fell through, but I managed to slide into a job which has turned out to be an incredibly good thing.

But damn. I sure do miss Alex.

Reality and Time

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 23 August 2005

If I aged as fast as I live I'd be a mummy, not a mommy. I wish that meant I have an exciting life. Not quite. I'm thinking tonight how weird it is that my primary communications are in an IM box. My job and a good percentage of my personal life interests (or at least, my masochistic desire to share my real interests with the world via web), are virtual. All of which has resulted in my sense of time being completely scr--er, skewed.

If my job or my kids' school are not specifically "requiring and reminding" about the day, date, week, or even month, I am oblivious. Has it been 3 hours or 12? Was that 2 days ago or 2 weeks ago? How would I know? I am beginning to think that the sense of "time" we have is based on nothing more than a "practiced, acculturated subconscious metronome" constantly re-set and re-wound by exposure to the larger clock of culture and environment ticking around us.

When younger I used to have a difficult time remembering if a memory was real or was from a dream. Most people think this means real vs. not-real. To me it means, 'reality A' vs. 'realities B-through-infinite', which feel the same as this one while in them, but have to be tagged like a museum curiosity for reference when we return 'home' to 'here', lest we forget that this reality doesn't share certain things. Or as I sometimes say, I don't share a reality with others, I share an apparent agreement about reality with others. I can have whatever reality I do without complaint from others, as long as I appear to share an agreement about what 'reality' contains, or what can be perceived. Which is really not much different than "acting normal" in a new social situation or when mildly stoned. If one's mental database of 'not-this-reality' tagging is up to date, it is seldom a problem interacting with the world and keeping track of it.

Keeping track of time is harder though. I can pick up ideas I dropped and utterly forgot--they ceased to exist for me--for weeks, even months, and the lack of continuity doesn't matter. I have wondered if programming is partly to blame for that: one must hold everything in the head simultaneously, as everything impacts everything else, like playing chess... 8 moves in advance. And so the attention required for whatever one is doing that moment is absolute. The house is burning down? Someone had better break my line-of-sight to the code, or I may sit obliviously through it until my screen melts. But when I drop the attention, it is gone. Like a dream you forget, whatever-it-was just vanished from my reality. It's hard to be responsible with this kind of selective attention; "out of sight, out of mind" becomes so literal that little besides alarms and notes can compensate.

I wouldn't have made the computer connection except for a book my step-grandmother bought me. I could swear it was called TIME WARS but I can find no trace of it. Late 80's or early 90's. The book was based on research the authors had did into the 'time perception' of computer programmers. It was extremely distorted and odd, the way they could drop something (say, a conversation in the lunch line at work) in the middle of it, and pick it up 10 days later like no time had passed at all. Many other things I don't recall. I didn't do programming then so it was only of peripheral interest, mostly because of my interest in hypnosis at the time and subjective time perception.

I find, though, that nobody understands what I mean by "living on internet time" except other people who, like me, spend a good 70%+ of their waking hours on the internet. The very concept that time is so distorted seems surreal to everybody else I guess. Like the state of my reality and what I am paying attention to acknowledging the existence of at any given moment, I just try to fake the time-thing. With the Outlook Exchange scheduling combo that my job makes me use, I am finally starting to seem "in sync" with everybody else. Finally, Microsoft is good for something.

CIA's StarGate Files

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 21 August 2005.

Who'd be stupid enough to trust the CIA? I'm a conservative patriot and even I'm not that dense. The release of nearly 100,000 pages of "STAR GATE" program files is just another example of why. (They'll all be available soon at www.dojopsi.info.) The joke's on us, as usual.

This is the unimportant dregs of nearly 20 years, of a selected (read: "already known, so why not admit to them") number of projects, which the CIA compiled under one umbrella they call The STAR GATE program. This so anybody looking for stuff under any project name will find only "stargate" stuff and not stuff that might have been in other projects we don't know about and they aren't admitting to if they exist. The records are the equivalent of all the crap you would throw away if you were condensing your files into what mattered. I can't count how many are literally blank. Or have nothing worth seeing. Sessions with no feedback. Stuff that actually will mislead people clueless about who was involved in the viewing in the program, when, and what really went on, and more.

So, Daz has been the diehard going through all this stuff looking for things of interest. There is not a helluva lot. Ironically one of the most interesting things was a session McMoneagle did at TMI, on some Mars Anomalies RV'd--it wasn't even done in the unit, someone essentially had to steal it and put it IN the unit records in order for it to be there. (Well that's ok really given the sessions didn't belong to Skip Atwater either, but he put them on his website and in his book.) And let's not start on all the BS that went on while the unit was in progress anyway; but certainly, 20 years after the fact, releasing a very creative compilation of unimportant crap that accounts for perhaps 5%, and making it seem like you did the world a big favor -- what nonsense.

It's sad people were naive enough to think the CIA would do anything to clarify rather than to obscurate (my word. Obscurify, maybe?) the situation. It's sad to see them disappointed but worse when they think they can actually conclude anything based on this stuff.

My Liver Does RV

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 18 August 2005

"I know Kung Fu." That line from The Matrix is now almost a cultural funny. I was thinking of it recently when rerererereading one of Ingo Swann's articles. Apparently I am the only person who reads them, though I bet his web stats say otherwise; whenever I mention something in one of them, his fans, trainees etc. all seem rather oblivious. Either they didn't read it or didn't get it or didn't find it as worth remembering as I did.

The man is quite brilliant you know. Sometimes the reading is work though. Much seems tedious, a repetitive essay you must wade through and genuinely pay attention to, because then once he has set the foundation, he is going to say something that clicks in your head and I might find myself thinking, That is so true, terrific to realize it, I never thought about it like that before. I realize I might not have "grokked it" had I not gone through the first part of the article, so I make the effort to do so. Articulating this stuff is so damnably difficult, anybody who can pull it off deserves an award.

Anyway so in one section I grabbed as a quote he said,

"It increasingly became understood that the neurological networks throughout the whole bio-body itself also process information. And since the 1970s it has become understood that certain kinds of information are processed at the cellular level throughout the surface and internal organs of the bio-body."

Psychic functioning certainly does seem to involve the body in more ways than I can count. I have often thought about my health and body and how they may affect my viewing. Would dehydration (some say much of our culture is chronically dehydrated to the cellular level) matter to what could get fluidly communicated within oneself? Well the quote makes me wonder--starting this off with what I often do, that is, "If mass is vibrating energy and energy is a sort of sentient-information" (I realize those are considered two diff things, but not by me), "then are the cells of my liver as involved with my experience as the cells of brain? Does my left elbow feel annoyance?"

Biogram Theory would suggest yes. The implications for RV are interesting though. I have a big interest in psychological "integration" strategies concerning conscious psychic functioning (or what he calls "controlled" remote viewing, which I consider more a process description than the methodology-for-sale most know by that term) so it makes me wonder if even archetype meditations on say, how your liver or small intestine feel about a given thing (RV, or your new job, or whatever) would be interesting. I'm going to have to try a few of those and see.

Dino's Extinction

Archived from the former Firedocs blog. 30 July 2005

What wiped out the dinosaurs? Mere minutes of session alas but fun anyway. Yes. I was sitting in the car waiting for the kid when I did it. That's about the only time I have for viewing most days.

Today my practice target (not an RV target but a psychic target in this case) was another of the 'anomalies and esoterics' as I've always called them. Out of nearly 1000 targets there's maybe 12 in this pool and I've gotten a few right next to each other. Go figure on how, what are the odds. Anyway, so the tasking was a boneheadedly complicated sort, one of a few that I'd written up last minute (probably at 3am) and tossed into the pool when I was making it a few years ago. The sort that makes you later go, "WTF was I thinking??"

Bad taskings are like a wishy-washy relationship--even after you suffer and escape the experience, you still aren't sure exactly what lesson is to be learned from it. At least this one had some resolution based on 'tasking context' alone. Not enough to qualify as real RV but who cares.

The actual tasking was, "Describe the situation and experience of the extinction of the dinosaurs." Gee that's not complicated enough for one tasking. Maybe I should have included the creation of the universe and the collapse of Mayan civilization while I was at it! Seriously, that was stupid. I can think of 500 ways to better word it. Fortunately, since I was tasking myself, I assume that I knew what I meant!

In the session I had a sense of something BIG, a sense of a life form, and then a clear visual of what I could only describe as "a rock," not very round, which was 'glowing from the inside', reminded me of how on a volcano rock can "glow through" an outer layer when it's really hot inside, there was "motion", and a sense of tons of dots/stuff/rays/something around the rock. The tiny sketch I drew looked like a mini-sun or something when I considered it. Mere minutes in, they returned to the car so I was out of time. (Story of my life!)

When I saw the tasking, the meteor theory made big sense then. A rock glowing with heat from the inside, surrounded by stuff or rays like a comet or something, in motion. Who knows.

As for feedback, there are two extinction theories for the great dinosaurs, either that they were fried suddenly in a cosmic collision or that a temp shift caused them to stop hatching enough females. As opposed to the Mastadons, which evidence suggests were "flash frozen". What a way to go.

Coming Up

I'm going to be closing down another blog(s) that I have. (Which ironically, got content from yet ANOTHER blog I had closed down.)

And so I'm going to be taking a bunch of the posts and putting them either here on Red Cairo or over on Psiche depending on where they seem to fit best.

So if you've already read them it'll seem a bit like spamming I suppose!

If you haven't, I'm posting the original date for context, even though they will be going in as current posts.

This is just a warning. Over the next few days there will be quite a few.

These are all coming from Firedocs. But most the stuff I think to around mid-2006 actually started in the Dojo Blueblog.

For remembrance, here was the firedocs front design before I took it down:


PJ

Information + Human = Time

I can't articulate 99% of what I want to talk about. That will probably make this blog post longer, rather than shorter, knowing me.


Imagine a plant, like a bulb flower or a vegetable bush. It 'fruits' based on an inherent time-setting defined by "the nature of it". Every plant has its own, varying time setting. The details of the specific lineage of that category of that plant makes it vary, and of course, even in a group of identical plants, there is some variance.

These settings are like "defaults". But they aren't hard laws. You can actually affect the fruiting cycle of plants, make it a bit slower or faster, depending on the conditions it lives in. (According to some, it can depend even on psi rapport, but we'll leave that one for another day.)

I've talked with a couple people who said they psychically tuned into trees. Both of them said the most astounding thing was how "slow" the tree was thinking. As if it were just... on a different time-scale than we are. As if perhaps reality moved more slowly for them. I imagine that butterflies, with their short life spans, might perceive things much "faster" than we do somehow. Maybe they live an entire lifetime-worth in their 3-14 day (depending on breed) lives. In other words, maybe the lifespan and 'timing' is not merely about how long they biologically live, but also relates to the speed at which they perceive reality -- or, "information".


Think about humans. We reach 'maturity' based on an inherent time-setting defined by "the nature of what we are". (i.e., humans, not snakes or whales.) There are smaller cycles within our overall life span for various unfoldings. We vary not only based on our species, but potentially based on our unique breed (genetics), and just like plants, also based on the conditions that we have lived within.

Everything has its own time for maturing, fruiting, expressing, dying.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
as the song goes.

We have our own speed for "perceiving reality" (information), as well. This is a general range for our species, but varies within that range by person.


Mass, according to physics, is really just vibrating energy. The speed of the vibration determines the 'density' that it will appear 'compared to our own'. When things vibrate more quickly than us, they may appear to be less solid, like water, then like gas, then like the spectrum of heat-sound-light. If it vibrates beyond the range of our biological perception tools, it passes into the infrared, and X-ray, zones. When things vibrate more slowly than us, they may appear to be more solid, like a tree, then hard as stone, then hard as metal, even hard as diamond. Of course, this is only measured by our own vibration rate: how we "relate to" other things. If our 'attention' is at the vibrational rate for gaseous materials, maybe to us, that is real and solid and 'reality'.


So it is possible (reaching, here) that an incredibly slow-vibrating life form might live so slowly we cannot perceive them as alive. We may perceive them as giant boulders or something. It could take a million years for that lifeform to change from one state to another, into something we can't imagine or understand, but our species is only exposed to things for about a century, or even with history, only a few centuries that we can hold together in good cultural cohesion (understanding).

It is possible there are lifeforms that live so quickly we cannot measure them. Or that in a physics sense, vibrate too quickly to even be in the visual scale for us. Maybe we could only hear them, for the entire 12.5 seconds of what to them is a long life.


Now, time doesn't exist. Nor does space. I believe this, although if I believed it even more I'd be a better viewer.

How can vibration, which is a linear time-based thing, exist?

But "perception" does. Consciousness. How, who knows, but it must, since we're thinking about it.

I've heard that we can have a dream that seems like it lasts for days, in the space of a few seconds. That implies that perception is not bound by time.


I believe that information is energy; that like space/time, they are essentially the same thing from a different perspective.


Our biological bodies, like the plant and the butterfly, are energy-constructs that by their nature vibrate within a certain rate. Possibly as part of that, we also perceive information within a certain rate. This is not about what energy-information is 'inherent inside us'. ALL of it is inherent inside us. It is about how long it takes us to fork it out of ourselves, to "unfurl it" within ourselves.

To bring it from the seed of potential, to the fruition of our understanding.

Its own cycle of life.


What if information has its own time-setting? Or what if our own "relationship" to various energy/ information has certain defaults in that respect?


The other day, I suddenly perceived information as if it were a thing. As if it were a ball of layered energy like an onion, that would simply "blossom" (from seemingly nothing) inside us like a spontaneously growing energy-flower. Except, not a ball, of course... just everywhere and nowhere, since there is no space. ;-)


I had the sense that of the conglomerate of information that makes up any remote viewing target, that different elements of that information have their own time. By that I mean that whether it is the information-energy of 'that thing' or of 'us' or of 'the relationship' (on some level, those may not even be different things, but I won't go there!), perhaps the "seed to maturity" cycle is different for different collections of information, just like it is different for everything else we know about.

As if information exists at different human-perceptual rates depending on... something; its nature.


I'm explaining it all terribly, of course.


The really trippy part was this: I really 'sensed' in that moment that when I am exposed to "a target" in remote viewing, there is information I get 'right then' (I think of it that way), but there is information that is not going to "reach maturity inside me" -- be understood properly -- like waves of it, or blooms of it, at various other speeds. 8 hours, a couple weeks, a few months, whatever.

Thinking of information as a 'thing' was hard enough, but thinking of information having to "incubate inside me until it reaches a maturity where I will perceive it clearly" was kind of a trip too.


Since I don't believe in time and space, I'm not sure how any of this makes sense. I find it all completely confusing.

But fascinating. Because I felt it inside me like I do spontaneous dowsing, like literally I could sense my body and its relationship with information and how information just 'had its own time in me'--although that is more likely my perceptual time than the info's... but who knows?

This makes me wonder if perhaps doing a session, walking away, and doing another a week later, two months later, prior to feedback mind you, might result in some interesting other-data that we wouldn't see were they just separate sessions each with feedback. Could there be some kind of "information incubation period"?

More importantly, I think that humans can force this to change by Will. I think if we recognize this, that we can specifically "intend" within ourselves to speed up that fruition process, to make all the information available to us "right now." Perhaps some people are instinctively and unconsciously better at this than others.

.

Axex

I guess I have to go back a bit to make this morning's discovery make sense to anybody but me. I guess it's an example of how viewing can muck with your mind and how information on targets that have no feedback can spawn all kinds of stuff.

Years ago (around 1997 I think), I had a powerful dream. I was standing in a big valley with a bunch of people who were impossibly tall, and it seemed like some ancient time. In the dream I seemed merged with others, like I often am "of The Four". I think it's possible, I felt on awakening anyway, that the people were all of the species that the female of my four often presents in, the one with the long head that I interpret as the "pre-egyptian".

We were all focused on this rather majestic and powerful creature. Huge. As "I" (meaning, my identity here) got a little bit lucid in the dream, and so a bit more independent-thinking, I realized that the creature was made of stone, and I thought, but how can he be alive?

They responded in a way that amounted to, If a creature of bone [such as you, or we] can be sentient, why not a creature of stone?

There was some overlay of an odd similarity between bone and stone that I didn't fully get. But the point was that the creature was very much alive--I knew that, as I could feel it.

I gazed at it, so incredibly alone in this space somehow. Won't it get lonely? I asked, feeling such a strong sense of its uniqueness in the world, and its powerful and sentient presence.

They responded in a way that amounted to, Yes, but we are creating for him a mate, and so, then they will not be alone.

When I woke up, I understood that the stone creature was the Sphinx in Egypt. It was just a no-brainer... I didn't guess, I just knew.

When I told LJ about this way back then, he of the endless study of archeology, anthropology, science anomalies and so on, he said that was interesting, because he'd run across at least one legend of an alleged sphinx on the other side of the world facing the one we know, at some point in history (apparently not now).

Well, it's a trivia, and that was that. It did give me a sort of 'empathy-sense' for the sphinx, though. Every time I have seen a photo of it since that dream, I have felt such a sense of sadness, and a sense similar to that I feel every time I see a photo of the Mars moon Phobos: a sense of "damage to the face" somehow. (I've actually got that as data a couple times in sessions on Phobos.)

OK.

Some time ago (a few months maybe? I have no time sense) over at TKR's space in the Dojo Psi, Marv Darley tasked people on what the Sphinx looked like originally. Unfortunately I missed that mission, which bummed me out, as I found that an interesting question. I thought maybe I'd have to task myself on that someday, but then I forgot about it.

(Later, update: I went to grab a screenshot of the TKR mission page of his task just for a little image here, and I can't find it. Did he not do it? Did it disappear? Did I hallucinate this entire thing? I swear, sometimes my memory is so weird. It reminds me of when I was a kid and had a rather hard time figuring out whether things had happened or I had merely dreamed them happening.)


OK.

So a few weeks ago or so I was doing a session and for the third time I got an "icon" data. Now, this is something special I want to talk about on the firedocs blog, if I ever get photoshop of any version functioning bootleg on this computer. Suffice to say it is a really specific "feeling" when data comes through like this, and of the two I'd had previously, the icon amazingly, succinctly 'summed up' the shapes and somehow even their dynamic.

I wish I could put into words how this feels inside, not only the clarity of the shape, but the super sense of "sharp contrast clarity" of the edges of the shape, like the most high-resolution clear edges of an icon/logo you can imagine. I could only sketch them at the time of the sessions but I want to make what I actually saw-felt-etc. in session and then show it with the feedback so people can see what I mean.

Anyway, so in the session, I get this very clear flash of a hawk-head, like that Horus thing in Egyptology, and a real focus on this head in the sense, like it was important.

Then I get a graphic-icon data: A bird with outstretched wings so its real obvious, like a stylized Phoenix made with lots of these little shapes, all the same shapes, like one of those art things created by spraying paint into a cut-out-template, I'm having a mental block on the word right now. It actually reminded me vaguely of a pic not uncommon on the hoods of 'firebird' cars in the 1970s I think it was, but a little bit different, and I thought during the session, that's probably why I'm getting it as icon-data, because in my mind this ties into a logo.

I sense there is something on the head, and wings. I didn't get a body sense clearly in the session, and yet, I did have a sense I recorded of a larger solid-body creature that had wings, "like a griffin but not" was how it felt and I think that was the data in session. You know, big solid body, but wings, bird-head, like some super magical ancient creature.

But it's got that's graphic-icon feeling, which is really clear and strong, and I get SO EXCITED because so far, the other two times I had that, the data was just incredibly succinct with it and I'm thinking, that's so fantastic! I can't wait to see what the target might be! I bet whatever it is, this data is awesome for it.

I'm working from my envelope pool which was made like 8 years ago of around 800 targets, but now has about 500 left, including several bizarre off-the-top taskings that I've completely forgotten by now but sometimes stumble on (and usually think, "What the hell was I thinking when I tasked this?!"), but I can't even think of what could possibly match something like this.

The target feedback turned out to be an old photo of the sphinx.

This wouldn't be the first time I have wondered about something in a target (for example, how a crop circle was made) and then when I happened to get that target, actually described what I had previously wondered about -- I think that this is like subconscious self-tasking in a way.

But I was so bummed on feedback, because I thought: it makes no sense. Why would I get a hawk's-head for the sphinx? Surely it could never have had anything like that, whatever it might have had, surely it wasn't that. After all, it has the body of a cat. Aren't there somewhere, some feline bodies that have Rams' heads or something? Probably that's what it had. And where on earth would I get the idea of the wings, I wondered. Did that just go with the hawk-head symbol? It didn't feel like it. I still had the griffin-like-but-not-that overlay.

Oh well.

Ya never know. Ya just move on.

Today I was wondering what to task for the TKR Mission. Still half asleep. Idly, I wished I could task the sphinx's original look, based on my session, then realized I couldn't as it'd likely be a tasking thoughtform since I already had something in my head. Then I remembered that Marv had already done that anyway. Doh.

But since I was sitting there, out of curiosity I typed into google -- I was on the 'images' search at the time -- hawk head feline wings griffin, or something like that. I didn't actually expect to find that weird a combo, I just thought it might be interesting to see if there was anything that associated griffin with the hawk or feline concept mostly.

Google is becoming a metaphysical tool. :-)

I glanced through the various horus pics idly, and suddenly -- there was a creature in a drawing that had the head of a bird, with something on top, wings, the body of a feline, and appeared to be a 'griffin-like' creature. "Like a griffin, but not."

I literally just sat here at my computer staring at it, completely speechless.

I had no idea such a thing existed. My skeptical mind says any info existing in the world I could have been subconsciously exposed to, ok fine, but consciously, I am certain I was not aware that this existed. I clicked on the picture to see what the page said.

AmericanMonsters had this to say about the creature in the picture:

AXEX

Resembling the infinitely better known GRIFFIN, this animal was said to bear the head and wings of a hawk, both of which were blended into the muscular torso of a large feline.

Most depictions of this ancient animal - which like so many other potentially "real" creatures was included among the pantheon of Egypt's minor deities - show three, curved appendages resting atop the Axex's skull. Some researchers have concluded that these adornments bear more than a passing resemblance to the crest of a rooster. This animal has also been associated with the winged British scavanger known as the OPINICUS.

I think this is my guy. I really do. Man! That's a trip.

Never heard of it till now. It doesn't seem possible the sphinx used to have wings, though how the hell would I know. It's enough of a stretch trying to imagine it having a hawk's head for goodness sake.

Now I am really interested to know more about Axex. When I get time I'll see what I can find.

Update (later): I did a quick search on sphinx and I actually found a pic of a "Greek Sphinx" that has wings. Maybe that's not so unusual as I thought.

(P.S.: I wasn't quite as crazy as I thought. Marv had a different task, but in the TKR thread that discussed it, Eva was talking about the sphinx's possible original face/head. That is where I got the association. This will teach me to try to do much of anything when I am sleep deprived!)

.

Catching Up Oct-07

Well it's been awhile. I thought I would do a miscellany update here and say hi to friends who read this.

First, a review of trivia/references for those into that sort of thing:

* Posted something at the firedocs blog again finally.

* The McMoneagles posted again on their blog finally too. Joe helped find another person in Japan missing for many years!

(I know this only is on Japan TV but still, wouldn't you think that the various RV lists would be filled with people raving about the wonder of it, given the scarcity of modern brag-opportunities for viewing?)

Pic from their blog:



* TKR has had a few threads I found interesting lately, like on Feedback Format and of course the Featured Sessions thread, and for anyone who ever got thinking about how some RV feels like forced-choice like when you're trying to describe a person, this thread was my rambling about that.



As always, TKR at the Dojo Psi is hopping with daily sessions, viewers working their asses off and having fun and doing good work, sometimes mindblowing work, in full doubleblind protocol.

Some of my faves of the moment (recent sessions):

Rev'sDrag id=120350

Lillypad id=120259

7Sees id=120075

JS25 id=119626

(I could list like 10 for RD. She's amazing.)

There's lots of good and great sessions there, and by others -- worth a look. If you don't have much time, go to 'recent comments' or the 'G15' list.

Many people say that 'automated tasking' especially from a pool, with simple photo feedback, and a simple directive to base task focus on the focus/moment of the photo, makes it "more difficult" to view well. I would agree that it is not the ideal condition for viewing, but ya know, people in the RV Galleries do it every day and totally kick ass. Maybe they'd do even better, or do better more often, if it was all different, but I don't see that happening elsewhere or under other conditions so I'm not complaining.

I have a huge admiration for people with the courage to put themselves out there publicly in the dojo.

Meanwhile, back at the Secret Lab...



The new version of TASKERBOT is now online in beta. It's much cleaner. It's still sitting inside TKR until it's fully tested out... then I'm going to make it a separate site altogether, one people can go seamlessly to/from, but still, separate from TKR. This is because tBot is being coded to handle "management" of tasks for a variety of dojo projects, so people can copy/task from one to another, etc. Yes, project-S with an S; there are a couple others coming that have nothing to do with TKR but are pretty cool. Back to the new tBot:

1. Offsite tasking now allows you to use your own task#, so it can be used simply for feedback or already created tasks.

2. TKR folks can donate practice targets--with their own taskings!--to that pool through there.

3. The basic grab-bag options are now easier in several ways, like you can task to more than one friend/self at once, you can task multiple taskings on the same target at once, you can 'retract' something tasked to someone, things like that.

4. There's now quite a variety of listings for tracking/management, and quick-view options, with text, taskings, photos, hidden in the listing so just click and you see detail.

5. A new application called GEO is now part of it. Custom map 'areas' of your locale using Google Earth for GPS coordinates, then tBot-GEO will randomly task you on a location.

6. The TANDEM feature is upgraded and easier. Now you can do it privately, plus (this was the big request) you can do it from the grab-bag of the host instead of the TKR viewer practice studios -- so if the host has a cool collection of tasks including esoteric whatever, that can be tandem work too. Tandem is fun. I keep thinking I need to set up some weekly official tandem where lots of people can come and do a live session with lots of others on the same task just for the fun of it.



7. Not yet online but coming soon are some neat stuff like LIVE MONITOR -- I made a little app where a 'monitor' can sit in a chat area with a viewer, there are all kinds of preset 'feedback options' for how accurate the viewer might be, plus a custom text area for directives. The viewer can type in data to the screen, or just aim a webcam at their paper instead. I'm making some options like putting images and links into the chat itself, and making the room a unique instance for those users (totally private and room never used before/after that) before making it live. Seriously I always thought the in-session feedback idea was brilliant, but research indicates it's a cold-reading-the-monitor (not psi) training method and I've never understood why nobody made the effort to upgrade the approach to it, so that idea could still be used, but without the in-body blowing-protocol part. This does that.

For now Taskerbot is in TKR still, so visit TKR at the Dojo Psi http://www.dojopsi.com/tkr/and click on Taskerbot when you get there to check it out.

Let's see, what else...

Oh yeah - Sketching!!

LD's artsy sketches that he posts at his blog sometimes have inspired me to finally get my act together and learn how to sketch. So I dug out my copy of Betty Edwards's "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain", made a list of about 40 items in there I wanted to try, ranked them in assumed order of difficulty, and every night I sit and work on one of them. Observation #1: I suck at sketching. Observation #2: Apparently even someone like me can learn though, because I'm improving slightly already.

I can't tell you how many times I've not been able to sketch in a session or done more harm than help to the session process, data, even given myself AOL in the process of screwing something up... I've just got to learn to sketch "perspective" well, that's all there is to it. My kid likes to draw so we do it together at night before bed. She's working on teaching herself to draw Anime. I put on either classical or jazz (it's her Music Education Hour, haha) and a little incense, it's a great mood moment.

Beats watching TV. Whatever that is. If I didn't get TV shows on DVD from friends or via the internet, I'd never see it at all.

Speaking of LD he recently visited here. Cool guy. While here he assembled for me a desk I bought over a year ago (I only recently made room in my house to use it), a slant-table that makes my secret Architect dreams come shining through. Now I have an 'official' place not only for sketching but, when it's flat, for dowsing. I'm going to put together some kind of official dowsing experiment to celebrate, I just haven't decided on a new one yet. I still have like 500 targets in my physical pool that I need to get through so I can make another one so it'll probably be something that involves a lot of RV targets. ;-)

I sent a couple dojo friends signed copies of McMoneagle's "Mind Trek," that he gave me after I thought to ask for one for a friend. I have a few left, so if someone reading would really like one, send me an email with a name and mailing address.

No, I will not be sending that to my Big Uber-Secret Cache Of Government Spies that people seem to assume I have for some reason, just because thanks to RV I know a few people who used to be in intell. However, if you send me chocolate or gourmet fruit flavor jelly beans in return (or gourmet garlic. I love real garlic!), I'll do prayers for you in front of my 99 cent Mexican candles with Archangel Michael on them. Between the candles and the Frankincense and Myrrh you'd think I was religious or something. Hmmmn...

Moving on.



It's a good thing I lost a lot of weight in '06 because I haven't lost any in '07. Of course this would mean I might actually have to make an effort, which I haven't been. I'm inspired to weight lifting again though. And a friend bought me this lovely old photo of Marilyn Monroe lifting weights that is awesome for my workout room. Now I just need some decent mirrors in there, so I can remind myself constantly WHY I am working out, hahaha.

Weight lifting is actually a pretty cool sport, as these things go. Anything that is really hard, almost hurts and makes you smell bad must be cool. So far I still have a butt the size of jupiter, but I feel a lot healthier than I did a year ago, so I guess I'm getting somewhere.

I'm restarting an RV 'exercise' period where I do very brief, very fast sessions from my envelope pool. It's partly punishment for not viewing enough for quite some time.

The time for viewing is evening. By the time the kid's in bed I'm sleepy, and then I have like an hour, two at the most, to allot between RV, dowsing, guitar, sketching, house cleaning, reading, my boyfriend, programming for RV stuff online, and a dozen other possible things. It's so easy for viewing to get run over in the competition. I sorta resent that I gotta work for a living frankly and have so little time for the many things so important to me -- kids are the main time-suckers. Sometimes I feel like from the time I gave birth I should have known just to 'write off' the next dozen years of 'having a life' of my own at all. She's awesome but I'm long overdue for having my own life again frankly.

Anyway, I gotta get back into constant viewing again. I would like to set up some things that let other people task me (and anyone who wants to join me) in a regular daily viewing challenge, sort of a exercise for people to hold the line of constant viewing in a busy world. But it won't be fun if I'm programming for it but not viewing for it, that drives me crazy!

Speaking of which. I gotta go task this week's mission at TKR! Sessions due by Monday 10/22 7pm Eastern.

Next post will be a real blogging of some kind I expect. This one is just catch up on too long out of touch.

More on Truth

I was rereading this blog entry from firedocs, though it originated at the old dojo blueblog and just got stored on FD when I closed djb:
TRUTH http://blog.firedocs.com/arch/121

I feel, lately, like I need to return to this at least a little. Like I need to ground, shut up, find my center, and reconnect--so I can again better recognize--the "feel of truth".

Psychically, before I was into psychic work (and so, alas, didn't do anything useful or deliberate with it), I went through a couple stages of this. I could "feel" truth so clearly, as if it were a quality that something inside my body recognized, that even in reading a letter, article or book, I believed I was "aware" of where a different person had inserted a word, where the author had revised a phrase, where someone else had done so, and that was just the feel of the content.

Below that, I also believed I could feel the "degree of truth" (I called it "the red thread of truth," but I have no idea or memory now of why I called it that) running through it. I think most people at least sometimes have this experience, of reading something and feeling like, "I feel in my gut there is something to this. I don't know what part of it might have truth in it, but something is here."

I can't think of anything more fundamental for people involved in shamanic, psychic or spiritual work than this "awareness". The previous dream in that blog entry explained why; basically, that only when we really paid attention to the 'feel of truth' did we start to become aware of it (and its lack) in other things we encounter.

The problem is that the more I focus on "utter integrity" the less I want to talk.

Which is really inconvenient in the modern world.

(See the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Though written VERY simply for the mass public, it is a nice little book for the basics used by magickians, sorcerors, and those advanced in other fields such as martial arts or metaphysics, though every tradition has its own approaches to it and words for it.)