In the Center

I used to spend a lot of time "in the center," as I called it.

Basically it's just a concept-visualization of a superstring that goes through me, from the core of the earth to the center of the galaxy, and which IS "me." The more I pull myself to exact center of it, the better I feel.

Last night I practiced a little meditation doing that again, what must surely be the most simple of meditations.

I decided to try a remote viewing session while "holding that" state. I was fairly optimistic that, if for no other reason than because it was novel, it would probably get a good session.

Eh. It was ok. Clear target contact, but difficult to translate. I think the target itself was not ideal for me at this time is all, as I'm still working back the curve.

I'm too lazy to go get my book to scan. I had this sorta sketch, I felt there was a person in the middle, and these arms that weren't arms stretched out and seemed tied to something or holding on to something. I had the sense of sleeves without arms or something being used to hold a person or to hold on. I don't know what my brain was doing but I wrote 'paramedic'. LOL. Oh yeah, I had a sense of some kind of emergency like some person needing rescued. I also got that there was something "missing" from some important structure or object. It turns out the target was Princess Di with several kids in Angola at an orthopedic hospital and most all of them were missing a limb of some kind, haha. It was poor data only because I didn't know how to translate it properly. I didn't get much on her though, aside from a wrist cuff or bracelet that made me think of a woman (she was wearing a visible watch).

I found that the attempt to stay "in the center" actually is clearly different than whatever feeling I normally have when I am opening to target data.

See way back when, and this is one of those things nobody else could possibly believe because it sounds so ridiculous and fake, but of course when you are in the state of mind to do this sort of thing it all seems perfectly normal, heh! -- when I was doing this 'center' thing a whole lot, particularly in late '94, I had this period of time where I could, as I put it, "feel the thread of truth."

For example, I could read the paper, books, or something written by a coworker (so I could ask them about stuff), and I could feel what was true and wasn't, and to what degree. I could feel when the truth variance came from the author's intent vs. something else. I could feel it when a word was inserted by someone else like an editor. It felt "cold" in a way hard to describe. I could feel it when the author was writing along fluently and then stopped and rearranged a sentence(s); it felt just like if you took an energy stream, stopped, grabbed a segment, and mixed it up. Now that I know about RV, I think to myself, what an awesomely useful skill! But at the time of course, it was just one of a million things in my life that seemed normal after awhile. I haven't had that since I semi-suddenly 'devolved' between 96-98.

So I thought that since that state seemed so "attuned to truth," that maybe it would be great for RV. But it took me forever to do a small data poor session and I was bothered all through it by the dichotomy of wanting to sort of "open/float" when the centering sort of made me "consolidate/ground".

Well, it was an idea. Learning something doesn't work for you is still learning.

As is so often the case, I am "starting over again" in Remote Viewing as of not too long ago, and it's weird but every time, over the years, I have to go through the same development curve! I mean you'd think there would be some of that "riding a bicycle" about it, but for the most part there isn't. One of the most measurable factors is how humans come in. Initially I bluescreen them entirely. Then I totally objectify them (describe them as if they are a tree or building). Then I objectify them somewhat, but recognize in the data that it reminds me of person related data and maybe a certain gender. That is about where I am right now. I don't know what to say about the sessions the other night---I don't normally at this stage of my RV curve get people that well. Then eventually I'd start getting more people, and then a nice dose of psychology/thoughts -- and it's usually around then I quit viewing for a long time and have to start all over again.

One would think... wouldn't one... that maybe that torques my belief system in some way, and sends me into denial.

I may be the most experienced beginner in history. I have more knowledge about it than I need, and more experience from the re-re-re-re-starting over the many years, but still, it is so bizarre how the belief systems, they literally are always trying to close, you have to view EVERY DAY just to keep them fully open, more than once a day to get much progress. They slam shut, perhaps more slowly if you have a longer period behind you of solid viewing, but if you let it go long enough and they do, you're bailing the boat all over again! It's exasperating.

Well, I can't believe I worked like 7-something am to 12:15am today. And I STILL didn't finish an important report I needed to give my boss, mostly because I was working on yet another important report LOL. I hope I'm not too fried to view.

My tasker LD is not yet complaining about my laziness but I need to get viewing more for others and less on paper targets.

I just realized an hour ago that I didn't have to do the starlight session this week because... heh... I'm the tasker! (No brain, no pain.) Any of you who want to secretly do it, I'll post a link to feedback here too on Sunday morning so you'll get some.

First task closes Sunday in the Radical RV group, next one is already open and closes Wednesday. They are ALL mysteries so for fun I really want to do them.

So... that's 2 a week for Rad, 1 a week for SL, 1 a week for TKR, I need at least a few a week on paper targets with myself and a few a week with my tasker. I suppose I should be doing more than that if I want to get anywhere with it. Sigh.

If I could buy anything to improve my life, it would be more time. Not on the backend like long life, but in the here and now like longer days. I just don't understand how a person can hold a FT+ job, raise a kid as mostly a single parent, have a whole second job worth of time invested in programming and communications for online projects, and then still have time to view consistently on top of that.

I guess it's just a matter of what you make your priorities. If viewing was really my priority I would tell the dojopsi and my kid to stuff it and just work and view. But those two 'projects' seem pretty important to me LOL, and I guess until she is older and more independent, and until I finish the variety of in-progress software for the Dojo Psi/TKR that'll make it much more stand-alone and fun, I feel obligated. So, maybe in another six months I'll have more time off TKR. Depends on how fast I code, so I don't know. It'll be several years before I have more time off the kid! But once TKR stuff is done I intend to go mostly offline but for friends, and spend my time viewing instead of coding/talking to support the project.

I assume it can stand on its own at that point. And idiots will not overtake it. But every time I assume...!!


Oh yeah and a P.S. for comments sent me privately (why most people send them private email instead of posting them here I don't know, but that's ok I guess!)

1 - Yes, jellybeans, I am really not kidding. Alternatively, I have an unreasonable love for containers, but I'm trying to keep my house minimalized so... very tiny containers... wallets, ring boxes, whatever... it's a weirdness.

2 - Yes dragon-angel you can join radical but if you're too nice to me even once publicly I'm going to "accidentally" ban your username and claim innocence about why your computer can't get there. I can't stand it when people are too nice to me. Where's my bucket. I'm going to really suck as a guru someday. Hey, maybe now.

3 - Thank you M., but I don't think I need an exorcist, Steve either left on his own or is a part of me now. WHERE'S MY BOURBON AND CHICKS? Hey, who was that?!

OK, off to view now.