Tuesday, August 01, 2006


So last night, in part to redeem myself from a lousy session at starlight, I did three 15 minute practice sessions with envelope feedback. I forgot how much I enjoy doing that, and I want to do it daily if I can. Truly, 15 minutes IS enough unless you're really in deep at the stopping point. When I do the time limit, it forces "what is important" to come through because I am not giving my mind the opportunity to make it take me an hour of pleading, basically. It has 15 minutes to show me what it can do and then time is up. The sessions went ok.

Tonight I fell asleep when I sat down on my bed to do the exercises. Hazard of having no non-bed place to do viewing I suppose! After I woke up I decided to do three more sessions, two exercises and one for my daily tasker that is overdue.

The first session went ok. Not great for translation but decent for contact. It was lava taking over a street.

The second session was very odd. Much more of this and I'm going to get a real reputation (ha). From the first moment I had "intense" feelings, and I got that it was a woman, with something in her hands, having those emotions, and feeling doomed, and like everything she knew, her whole foundation had crumbled under her and so on. I actually AOL'd (without comment in session) the target itself!, as it's one that is also in the TKR Practice Studios/Galleries.

There was this odd component in the session though. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but it happened so there it is.

I could see this sort of light-thing, a sort of ovoid shape, sort of floating, hovering, a bit in the air, but I wasn't sure if it was real or not. I mean I knew I perceived it, I just didn't know if it was 'real' in the same way that everything else was. Later, when the light-thing came back and I perceived it more clearly, I described it as:

Like a star, but a shade(ghost) combined. A soul???

I was about to ask for more factual data, and remembered that my time was running out and I had not yet let the target give me whatever data IT wanted most to share. That is part of the Archetype-RV experimental method I've been working on; it's a mutual thing, the target has equal rights, and in exchange for helping me perceive that info, I also let the target choose some of the info I get. And what I got was --

biological lifeform that was here
lacks metaphysical closure.
(e.g., trapped soul)

I then had this 'burst' of plenty of impressions, all far too nebulous and fleeting to record, I was out of time and I ended the session.

So after each session, after I muse on feedback a bit, then I go back to talk to the archetype of the target, and I tell it how great it did and thank it and all that. But this time, I felt this odd sense in my heart chakra, and then it sort of bloomed into this incredibly gushing wave of "compassion" for this woman.

I called on Archangel Michael, and asked him to please give the woman peace and merge her with that light, her soul, and during this I had the sense that I had to really "hold the line of intent and will" about this, just hold on. So I was doing this, and really holding hard to the 'attention and intent', and then I had the most INTENSE body-feelings.

My heart chakra bloomed like it was the size of my body. I got fuzzy-buzzy intensely all through me from head to toe. My head actually went back and my mouth open, in sheer awe. This lasted less than 20 seconds. Then it "resolved" was the feeling and I felt a little odd for a few moments, and then it passed and I felt really calm. Like it was ok now and she is at rest.

Like wow, man. (Session here.)

I felt a little bit stunned, to be honest, but I needed to move on to my next session. I actually felt that I probably shouldn't be doing another one, just because the one prior, I'd really tuned into "her feelings" and didn't feel fully free of that yet, and also because of the experience that came after, I felt like I probably needed some time to integrate what just happened. But hey, I was overdue, so I went ahead into the next session, even though I had the lurking suspicion that one way or another, there was going to be some side-effect from doing this while still a little in the throes of the previous experience.

Could have seen that train coming a mile away, right?

So I get that the next target is a man... and this sense of a dynamic (meaning usually motion) of a circle or circles... both of which it turns out are correct. But apparently now my brain was utterly tuned to the weird ("You're listening to 101.7, K-astral, rocking the universe!") so even though I had enough data to figure it was a man and there was some motion involved, I shortly (remember these are pretty short sessions!) had the sense that he was dead now. Which was correct.

Now if I were coaching myself and had half a brain I would go into that session and say, "Yes perhaps, but 'now' is not the target's timeframe, the time-point is at the time of the photo or tasker intent." But nooooooo, since I was in session, this "shift" into being more interested in the target AFTER he was dead than during the target point was smoooth and I didn't even notice it. Possibly like the 2nd session on the Chernobyl target, I unintentionally retasked myself... that'll teach me.

I kept getting this overlay. Like it was one person and yet two. Shifting back and forth. The man says to me, "I used to BE somebody!" and I sense he is just a man as I know them, but then I also have really weird overlays of egyptian and lots of "death" symbolism and some man with his eyes painted who is somehow also him.

After the session, I mused that perhaps IF -- while we're flying around totally without any rational feedback here, why not?! -- IF a person's soul (or whatever you want to call it) has more than one identity strongly (like the way Seth perceived "Rupert" more strongly than "Jane" when communicating with her), then if you are focused on the "them that they are after death," perhaps you're getting the larger dose of their soul, and perhaps more than one identity could be involved.

When I got more than one data-symbol related to eye/eyes I figured I was dealing with identity (that is just a strong "I" symbol even in metaphysics).

So, I focused in, intensely feeling that I really wanted to "experience whatever the target wanted to share." This was followed by a really ineffable feeling, I can't put it in words, but I spontaneously sort of bellowed in mind,"I mean, what will FIT through me!" (and then laughed at myself). Like I had a 'burst' of stuff that was just way too much for me.

And then I felt like I just... hang on, I'm serious... like I just absorbed into my body... a man. THE man. I felt like we were merged like an energy envelope, and like he was looking through my eyes, except it wasn't him, it was more like...

A me + him2 = NewMe.

I sat there for awhile, feeling as if, well, maybe I was different now. I felt different. And then I thought well maybe I need an exorcist. And then I thought well maybe it was destined to be this way: I mean, that my destiny in the future actually counted on the 'addition of him to my conglomerate' at this point.

And then I thought to focus on "how he felt that was different from me:" Older. Calculating. More socio-political smart. A sense of strength. A strong sense of self. I aol'd this latter point as possibly royal or somehow different from me in a way hard to understand -- it felt clear that he had had a lot more "power" than I have, over people, over larger situations, etc. Through all this I was getting the overlay of 'the man' who was 'also' the 'egyptian guy' too.

I didn't want to share my session with my tasker. It was so weird that I felt like, "Well maybe I am hallucinating!" And I thought, "You know, maybe the target is a a boat or something, how the heck would I know, I probably made it up."

On another level I thought, "You're in denial." But I do denial so well--why stop now. In the end, I decided I really don't choose to share that session with anybody, not that this writeup doesn't have far more info than it does of course.

The target was Steve McQueen. A man. Who was famous. But is dead now.

Whether his soul also had an Egyptian identity will have to be one of those "non feedback" points.

Well, it's all very cosmic and stuff, but...

...NewMe still has to work for a living, so I gotta go to bed now.

Edit to add a P.S.: I know this is a personal blog, designated for 'metaphysics and weirdness' and such. But still, I just can't get over feeling like any minute now, someone in the RV field is going to be going, "PJ absorbed Steve McQueen! Hahahaha!" and I'm going to feel like the biggest idiot alive. Sigh.........!


anhdon said...

Hi PJ - very interesting stuff you have here. I'm really interested in the "subjects" that you are running into in your sessions, somtimes on purpose, and somtimes not. I'd love to hear more about how you are interacting with them if you have time.
Best wishes,

Healey said...

Wow, Steve McQueen! When I was little, like 6 years old, he used to come into my dad's shop a lot. Steve, do you remember me, the cute little red-headed kid in Van Nuys? [ducking]