Holding Your Energy

I think there's some kind of unofficial rule that bloggers are not supposed to be antisocial. It's kind of contrary to the name of the game, after all. Blogging is a gradual process of revealing more about yourself to innumerable others, many complete strangers, than you probably do to immediate family most the time. This is difficult to do well if all you really feel like doing is lurking in a dark corner silently. On the one hand, nearly all my friends are psychic -- but, well, not THAT psychic.

So while lurking I missed a few things I should mention here I suppose. Hmmmn, in no particular order at all....

Thank you Kristen for the lovely earrings. Your stuff is always so beautiful. I hope you did well selling your 'Penetration' book and that CRV training is fun for you.

Thank you Bill for all the awesome MP3 music. I love what I've listened to so far! A whole lot. We do seem to share taste in music for sure. I can just lose myself.

Thank you Ed for the beautiful hematite pendants etc. I love them and wear one of them almost all the time. I think you really have a gift with this stuff.

Thank you Skye for the awesome RV collection. You guys wouldn't believe this, she's like the RV librarian. Thanks to her and my obsessive web-archiving for years, I'm going to have a mind blowing collection of nearly everything ever done in RV or RV media ever. Of course copyright means I can't make it public. But if ya need something specific and you ask nicely... :-)

Thanks Michele for the variety of groovy stuff, and I'm glad Ry waited on the sunflower seeds for planting, since we had the freeze! Send me a pic for your blog if you want to see one online this century. Landscape format decent quality minimum dimensions 1200 px high and 1800 px wide (or larger). I sent you email but am grinning thinking you're more likely to see it here.

Wait. There were like six other people I was supposed to thank for stuff and I can't remember now. I had it like 5 minutes ago when I logged in. Sigh. Sleep deprivation is just not good. You know, if I'm going to be this brain dead, couldn't I do it by taking some kind of drug that would at least make me thinner, too?

Moving on.

My house is way better since one of its occupants left. My health, state of mind and general joy in living -- and my kids' -- is better as well. All good things.

My lasik 1-year checkup came. My vision is imperfect; the right eye is more like 20/40 or 45. Together the eyes still pull off 20/25. But I'm 41 now and the lasik actually made my up-close vision worse than it was -- not a bad thing you understand, I'm at the age where that happens around now anyway -- so the doc suggests simple +1 reading glasses you can get anywhere. I think I need them because long hours on the computer are really killing me with eye-strain. The thing about LASIK is it's nearly impossible to keep your eyes anywhere near hydrated properly, especially if you have indoor climate control. My vision at night is much worse than the day; for example driving down the road I can see a certain sign at a distance fine during the day, but at night it would be blurred, because all lights halo quite a bit. Not to the degree that I'm night-blind or anything, but driving at night in a busy city like Joplin is something I'm not fond of doing.

Meanwhile my 10 year old daughter had an eye checkup. She can't see the blackboard at school. She definitely needs glasses. Probably because reading and computer are nearly her only two occupations aside from gojo ryu karate -- in which she just got her jr. purple belt by the way. In pity over the social-fashion result of glasses, as she is a raving Leo in every sense, I let her choose whatever glasses she wanted. She chose these very neat looking Calvin Klein dark-wine wire frame small glasses, slightly tilted in that cat effect. I have to go back Friday when I get paid and give them the other half... 'cause her exam + glasses cost me like $350. For godssakes. So next time someone asks me, "Do you have a price limit?" on something I will be intelligent enough to say, "What is the range here?" rather than thinking, How bad can it be? hahaha!

I decided not to garden this year, except for about half a dozen plants and the grapevines and the landscaping (which includes thornless blackberries). After weeks of hard subfreezing, the weather warmed up, spring sprung, it got totally glorious, it rained, the grass and the flowers and the grapevines grew insanely fast, it was looking so lovely.

Then it dropped to subfreezing instantly, like 20 F at night and freezing at day, for a few days. Then the next two days went back up to like 86 F and was hot. Then dropped to nearly-freezing at night and chilly-rainy during the day. Today was very warm, but looking to burst into a spring storm any minute now. Meanwhile my beautiful, flowering, growing like crazy young grapevines are now brown, withered and looking totally dead. I'm so irked. I hope they recover!! All my seedlings are dead as rocks as well. The vines were only planted last year and it takes them 2-3 years to get to the point where they are decently producing. I was just about to take a picture and send to my ex, who did the work to plant them and build their trellising, when it froze. Bummer.

The one thing that IS alive is my Aerogarden, a rather pricey tiny countertop garden. They offer strawberries now!! They've been selling cherry tomatoes, hot peppers, various herbs and stuff for quite some time. It is hydroponics with cool grow lights in a totally self-contained automatic system, super easy, pretty neat so far. We'll see. It's in my kitchen growing hot peppers as we speak. If I were rich I would have a few of them. I'm saving up to buy my stepmom and dad one each for christmas so they can have salads (stepmom) and strawberries (dad) over the winter. Now I'm an organic gardener, so ultra-hybrid seeds in artificial planting medium is seriously out of the norm for something I'd be into, but this is so adorable. I'd been looking at grow-light-shelf setups and they were stupidly pricey. Hot peppers are a primary food group for me and I miss them terribly when a garden isn't around... this seemed worth a try.

I mentioned some time ago that I had reverted to lowcarb eating again. I'm pretty well off the wagon of that right now. My food tends to vary depending on how I feel. Lately I'm working to at least be only half-bad. Like tonight we took a ton of crockpotted chicken breasts, chopped 'em up, and dropped 'em in a big pot with baby carrots, frozen peas and corn, cream of chicken and cream of mushroom soups (canned), and a tiny bit of pasta, for a thick stew that was actually really good. Except kinda salty from those soups. And enough carbs to ... well never mind. Anyway that hardly qualifies as real food outside the chicken, mostly starch, but at least we got some protein in. Aside from mega sandwiches, slimfast high protein drinks, and 101 ways to "occasionally" eat a giant crockpot full of pork, chicken or beef, I haven't really been focusing on my food much. Which is a real shame. You get what you focus on -- me especially for some reason, perhaps because I'm so intense by nature.

I'm getting a lot more exercise than I used to even in daily life, since mowing the lawns, weed-trimming the property, more shopping and trash than I used to have to do etc. is helping. Still too much computer time sitting on my butt though! I'm hoping this weekend to build my neat little simple slant-desk as I want to do more dowsing, plus be less prone to fall asleep while viewing, and I think using that might help with both.

My spiritual life is apparently off on some island vacationing without me.

Funny. So is my love life. Somewhat literally.

Well I have another session to do for my tasker today and one to do for the Radical RV group that is due this weekend and a ton of practice backed up and some ARV and I'd better quit yapping and get to some of it. I won't be around online much -- I hope -- the next month or so as I'm going to try and get more immersed in viewing.

I have one session done on a task at the moment in which, this is novel, every single AOL is something that makes noise -- music or some kind of beep-ding-ring sound. I have no idea what the target is but at the moment I am betting on something that makes noise. Either that or AOL Drive has got me firmly in its clutches. ;-)

Oh yeah, news tidbits, lemme see.

New videos on the video page at LFR/CSL.

New blogs at seriouskilowatt.com (you gotta view that one through firefox - way cool transparencies IE isn't yet capable of showing) if you're into RV and Lucid Dreaming, and madmojoe.com from our favorite auto mechanic martial artist voodoo hack turned tarot fiend and remote viewer, and don't forget the cool target collection at thesnoopster.com, I stuck 'em all in my Taskerbot grabbag but have yet to chance on one.

Oh yeah and now TKR has an Associative Remote Viewing board just for that topic and Marv is running a weekly ARV trial that is kinda cool for anyone who wants to play. Just post a session in the solo studio and send him the link (they are private, only he sees them) and he'll send back a grid with results and outcome predicted for anybody who wants to put money on it.

Which reminds me the Dojo Psi would have an RV chatroom already except I didn't have the $400 it requires. With my next paycheck I think I can get the simple module. Then in another 2-4 weeks I could get the moderated chat module. I'm hoping to have it online within another 10-14 days. Joe McMoneagle already said he'd do a chat interview so people could ask questions live, once I got around to it. I'm just the slowest human alive at accomplishing anything some days.

I was thinking today that a recent session I did on red blood cells, which was very cool experientially, brought home how really everything in the universe can be perceived through nearly any framework. I had it as some kind of technology so beautifully elegant and simple that it almost wasn't technology and it was so graceful and yet it clearly did have a sort of organized planned dynamic sequential working in concert feel that technology does for me. Well you can objectify people into something that could be an object or tree, too. The nature of a target during session is only what you make it; we are subjective about the universe, and that is why the humanity or body of a target's context, like red blood cells, might seem more relevant to us than the incredible graceful natural technology of it. I am going to add to my Aspect RV protocol (the one I've been working on off and on for like six years now) a process for perceiving through a 'conceptual framework' as well as through identities, jobs, skills, perspectives, etc. Might be interesting.

OK I really am going now. I hope y'all are doing well.