Thursday, April 19, 2007

Kundalini, Seth, and Bewilderness

The Changing Role of A Student, part 11

During my studies with my hands-on energy work teacher, I apparently had what some call a Kundalini experience. With the wisdom of a lot of years between then and now, I think I can safely say that I did experience this, and that one of the effects was that it blew my crown chakra wide open. My life took a turn for the decidedly spiritual and surreal at that point. I think I would probably have completely "lost it" at some point -- I was in terror off and on for my sanity, due to some of the events in my reality -- had I not been almost forcibly introduced to the books of Jane Roberts, starting with "The Nature of Personal Reality" (a Seth book).

I had met a man online named George that I was really crazy about. We just instantly hit it off as fab friends. He was a marketing executive at 3M, highly intelligent and well paid and I had a lot of respect for his opinion. He tried to get me to read the book for a long time. I flatly refused. It was channeling, "for goddsakes".

Now I know this sounds funny, since I had spent quite some time pretty close with my former teacher who actually DID channeling. But you have to understand that the channeling she did was not... it was not stupidly ostentatious, as some of the more famous channels have been. To begin with, she often said nothing at all. You could watch the planes of her face change -- this is impossible to describe, but if you ever see a deep trance channel change, you'll know it, it is nearly queasy-making the first time you see it -- and when she did talk, it was a calm conversation that amounted to counseling (which theoretically, she could have made up or done subconsciously -- I didn't suspect her of the former, but I allowed for the possibility of the latter), so it had not really challenged my belief systems.

But Jane Roberts was a full on TRANCE CHANNEL. I mean, she claimed to be someone else entirely. (Only somewhat true, but what I thought at the time.) I just thought that was beyond weird, and it seemed difficult to take seriously. Once I finally started reading it, the first maybe 1/3, I was very grouchy through. "I knew that," I would growl at it. "You said that already," I would snap at it. I was determined to expect the worst.

And then something just snapped inside me. Almost literally. Suddenly, I GOT IT. "OH MY GOD!" I would be exclaiming, and stopping for awhile every few sentences just to ponder on it. I just... finally, GROKKED it, as Michael Valentine might have put it.

And suddenly there it was. I would write my friend about these amazing ideas and thoughts I'd had, and then an experience would happen to me that sort of tied into that, and then I would read something in the book that exactly described this kind of dynamic, experience, etc. At one point I wrote in my journal a near pre-channel of a chapter that I read shortly after. It began to totally seem like the book's information was interacting with my life. I could "feel" it like, it wasn't time to move on reading yet. And then it was. And the book was just "in sync" with my thoughts and my experiences, in the most amazing and evolutionary sort of way.

Over time I believe I've read all of Seth's published works and several of Jane's. Jane was an unusually gifted poet. I'm not usually real into poetry but she had a genuine gift with it, given the samples in her books. I feel kind of kin to her, now that I am older and now that I better understand the kind of courage it took for her to face this stuff constantly, keep pushing the envelope, and to walk the rational line of documenting it and maintaining at least a little skepticism here and there.

Seth and Jane saved my life, probably; saved my sanity, definitely. I owe them.

next up: part 12

Ceremonial Magick


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