Remote Viewing

The Changing Role of A Student, part 13

I encountered Remote Viewing at the end of October 1995. I happened to just be getting into webwork then, having relocated to Seattle where, despite a resume of good jobs with impeccable references, I could not get arrested, because I didn't have a formal college degree. While my friends were getting drunk, laid, going to peace marches, playing with sororities, and "occasionally taking a class about business," I was managing three warehouse divisions, purchasing, and building a new chemical division in my daytime hours, while overseeing management of both manufacturing and graphic arts departments on the second and third shifts on rotation for a manufacturing and distribution firm. I was kind of hacked off about it at the time, that competence and experience didn't mean anything. I had nearly always gone to jobs through word of mouth reference, from associations. Moving across the country to be near my husband meant I lost all that, and the job hunt was the first time I'd had to look for a job "cold".

My new husband was a programmer and graphic designer, and I'd done a lot of databasing and desktop publishing, and all those skills were ideal for the internet which was just starting to really explode into the world at that time. By the end of '95 I had my first RV-related website built (actually two if you count what I didn't intend to be a website, but merely a convenient place to post stuff for my friends, which ended up becoming a website for RV in the end (Firedocs RV)), and I fell in love with the web -- which unlike Compuserve, did not charge me $8/hr to work free, as a forum I'd been involved with for eons had.

The potentials on the web were so enormous -- they still are -- that it was like a dream come true for a communications nut. I did eventually end up working as a temp for an agency which refused to place me because I'd made so much more than their top rate that their corporate policy forbade it -- though I constantly turned down job offers from nearly every client I had -- until I had a baby, at which point I stayed home, but by then I'd managed to secure us a little more work to at least occasionally almost live on.

As it turns out, my introduction to RV kicked in just as a whole lot of other things kicked off. I very seldom (but occasionally) encountered 'entities and aliens' after that, but I had a whole lot of other, more conscious-psi-related stuff. Including some pretty massive personal experiences. And quite a few that were just... offbeat, you might say. On the whole though it seemed as if a giant dark mesh had descended on my crown chakra. I used to be able to just 'feel' inside me, so many things, including a lovely grounding "one with self" sort of feeling. After awhile, I couldn't feel that; I couldn't feel anything at all. It felt like I had been cut off from the spiritual world entirely. Sure, I was having some psychic experiences, but the sort of love-centric, evolutionary-feeling stuff, for some reason, seemed to just fade until it was pretty much gone.

But I learned about RV. A lot. I was utterly obsessive on the subject. I talked to anybody and everybody, at the fullest length I could convince them to put up with me, about it. I read tons of science and copies people gave me. Even old offbeat newsletters, anything I ever found that referred to the subject, I tried to hunt it down. I compared accounts and explanations between intell people and science people, between viewers and nonviewers, between pre-84 unit personnel and post-84 unit personnel (those few I could reach anyway) (recall that some were in science even if they weren't in the unit, during those years).

I had the hilarious, erroneous idea that there was actually truth involved. You know, that if I really studied hard enough, long enough, collected enough pieces, that eventually I was going to have a clear picture of "what really happened" and "how we got to where we are today". In reality, what I got was was in part the utter chaos that the combination of planning, cultism, politics, management, and other problems created. And the stories people told me changed. And then changed more. And then changed significantly. And the stories others were telling changed. And some stories came together for a much more seamless mutual presentation that sold well. And some stories diverged apart for a much more contentious personal politics presentation that made everybody look worse.

A lot of things I won't get into here transpired that served to make me deeply cynical about much of the field and its more dominant people, and served to make me determined first that I would get the hell away from it -- which I did for four years -- and second, when I came back, that anything I ever did in the future would be wholly owned by me, and not dependent on, subservient to, or vested in anybody else.

I used to be more wide-eyed and trusting. Now, I trust me. Only me.

next up: part 14

Remote Viewing Teachers and Students

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