The Absense of Alice

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 19 April 2006

When I opened the TKR project, the "open and welcome to everyone" part nearly caused me physical pain. It meant I would have to be diplomatic or silent in any TKR area about anybody who had a board on the project's forum. It meant I would be seeing my own media, my own money, my own project, used for stuff I couldn't stand, by people I couldn't tolerate.

I figured nobody would be dense enough to avoid free reference, links, opportunity to present their marketing. I also (boy was this idealistic!) thought nobody would be so crass as to indirectly harm their own viewers, by not at least having the same space for them in the one community-wide project everyone else had, no matter how they personally felt about anybody in it.

I figured I was doomed. It'd be my money, my time, my work, and they'd benefit, and while the "greater field of RV" and TKR itself might be a little better off for having them, on the whole, it's more loss to an individual group to lose our link, than it is for us to lose their participation; thanks to Firedocs and the McEagle site, TKR has guaranteed incoming web traffic.

Some proved me right: In the case of PSI TECH and Jonina for example, she's no slouch at P.R. (one of her ex-'s is actor Brad Dourif, ref: Lord of the Rings). It wouldn't matter if I was offering an ad on my tombstone, if it was free, a useful internet link, and spelled the name right, she'd be smart enough take it. But for the most part she was the only one; we worked hard to get most others involved even passively.

Whether because they don't want their followers exposed to any idea outside their glory, or whether they don't care about traffic to their website, or the media being more likely to see what they do, who knows. One thing was sure: few gave a flying pig about "supporting the larger community" by putting aside personal issues, as I and others were doing, to make one safe central ground.

But the people who could have got the most out of this, and who most made it feel like dental surgery to me to have to offer it to them, wouldn't join! Which is really a funny irony. Those who like me the least, and could have done me the worst, didn't. By letting their personal pique influence their professional decisions, they did me a favor of sorts, though at the expense of themselves, their viewers, and the greater RV community:

They lost out on a great opportunity for their own side, made it publicly clear they had no good concern for the field at large outside their own clique, made me look altruistic for inviting them, made themselves look retentive for refusing or ignoring, and skipped the chance to use MY money & media to make their own benefits... and make my teeth grind in the night.

Sometimes, the universe is just alright.