Sunday, March 16, 2008

Intuitive Writing and Speaking

Back in my Bewilderness days, I used to write a lot, emails and typed letters to friends. I would talk about my ideas and theories, a lot of metaphysical stuff. And once in awhile, it would shift into something more 'intuitive' than 'intellectual'.

There are several side effects or concomitant feelings during the time this happens. They don't all happen at once. But at least one is usually present when the writing is what I call intuitive--what others have called "inspired".

1. It feels like it is coming "through" you rather than "from" you. You could call this channeling and some do, but 'information' or 'energy' rather than an 'identity'. (I could argue that identity, information and energy are all the same thing from different perspectives, but not right now.)

2. There is an ineffable feeling of truth with it.

3. Sometimes only one word can have this! Or half a sentence. Or 3.5 sentences out of a paragraph. It is like energy wending through the language--it doesn't necessarily match the phrasing.

4. It is not much different with writing than speaking it.

5. Sometimes an internal gut-level "need" for a feeling of "sound that creates shape" is present. As if sound--even in written words!, but this is much more present with spoken words--actually IS some kind of geometric form, from another perspective.

6. There are side-effects of #5. For example, I would find myself using 3, or 30, or 300, words to say something that I actually have said with about 6 perfectly clearly, but the problem is, it didn't FEEL right. It felt like the "meaning-shape" that English words created was mismatched; the surface intellectual meaning, did not match the literal "shape of truth" that was the words. This could result in whole paragraphs sort of 'getting around to' saying something. I felt on some occasions that I understood why often, metaphysical books seemed like they had too many words, and didn't just say things succinctly. I felt they were facing the same problem--the energy of the 'truth-in-sound' not match the surface-meaning of english words, and so they were trying to pull in enough combination of shape to eventually have at least a fairly decent match.

7. Another side effect was a sometimes overwhelming need to express a certain feeling of shape in sound. I had the sense that one of these shapes was rather like a corner, or an "L" shape. Except that my language has no sound which actually matches this. The closest thing I could find was "K" -- the hard consonant aspect of it -- but that wasn't really right either. Sometimes I had such an overwhelming NEED to EXPRESS that energy that I would find myself quietly saying, "K! Kuh! KKKKKKKKKK!" -- this could happen even when typing something, bizarrely enough. I later talked with a man who'd worked in a mental hospital who told me that he'd encountered severe schizophrenics who had symptoms like that, who would make up stupid phrases that had "Hard consonants" in them (one example he gave was 'f--k a pig!') and say it over and over until they were screaming it. That is really pretty weird. I don't know if it's related but as I think a lot of "mental illness" may be the combination of genuine physical and mental problems mixed with psychic awareness highly distorted, I found that sort of interesting.

8. If in the same state of mind, I sometimes got an intuitive "thread" as I call it about OTHER people's words or writing. For example if I am looking at a paragraph of text, I have sometimes been able to 'feel'--in the same way--that a given word or piece of text, sentence or paragraph, has 'truth' in it. I could feel when it was cold and out of place as if a word had been inserted by someone else or after the fact. I could feel when the 'thread of truth' weakened and vanished. I could feel that sometimes things seemed 'mixed up' as if the sentence had been written with intuitive-truth but then the words had been rearranged.

9. There is this toy, it is a ball-like shape made of a zillion little rubber things. It is like a 'pompon' shape made of something akin to straight rubber band things. They all gather in the middle. I often had the sense that I was in the middle of a shape sort of like that, like I was in the center, and going out from me in every possible direction, was a tiny stream of energy. And I could shift my attention just slightly and I would have a different stream. This reminds me of channeler Jane Roberts, who referred to this feeling as being on a road with many "paths" and being able to choose different ones.

10. Once I had a 'stream of energy' running 'through' me that had 'information', I had to be very careful about the focus. If I had a question, an intent, and got information, it was important that I kind of "got out of the way of it." If I even paid attention to what was coming through as I communicated it, I would become interested in it, or wonder about some part of it. The instant I had that interest, it was as if I slightly changed the direction of the stream, and so the information would move with me. This could result in a rather odd constant shifting of the information's goal of explanation, rather than an essay on a single given topic. I have never shifted OUT of body to allow another identity (to my knowledge), but I assume that would solve the problem. I'm not real fond of that idea personally. I have enough issues with identity and accidental "merge" with others (people, planets, metal recycling bins...) without deliberately inviting that.

11. I have sometimes had this in remote viewing sessions. But it can be only pieces, like for example I can write down a sentence about something and feel that "the last half of that was intuitive."

I was telling a friend about this the other night and I wondered if I had ever written this down. So I just thought I would, before I forget it.


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