Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Fly

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 10 September 2005



I've been thinking about the magic again. His name was Nestor, and he was the 'real thing' that I suspect legions of fakes have attempted to emulate. A healer; some call it a 'psychic surgeon' though to be honest, I don't like that term. The account I wrote about the experience not long after said,



I had this profound and rather important feeling while we were talking. It is difficult to explain and sounds a silly, but I'll try.


I felt "internally certain" that IF ONLY I could be around him long enough, just stand next to him while he did this on people, that I could do it. That something inside of me "recognized" whatever he was doing. That somehow his... faith? skill? I don't know.... would be almost contagious, if only the exposure were possible for me. I considered this consciously during that time, and I couldn't find any logical reason why I'd feel that way, I just did. It was the... internal equivalent of something on the tip of your tongue. Like ALMOST recognized. Almost there. Almost made the connection. . . .



He didn't do anything that martial arts traditions around the world haven't described as possible. Still, it was . . . fascinating. Not sure why it's on my mind lately.


Lately. . . for a couple weeks now, I wake up with my chant to Archangel Michael in my head in the mornings. Michael is the first and last thing I think about each day. I feel like he is calling me, like I've been asleep, in part "psychically hidden" from those identities which seemed to over-notice me previously, and it was time for me to 'wake up' and I didn't, so he is stepping in to get my attention.


I've been doing the rosary . . . only partly, as I haven't got any rosaries anymore, and am waiting on a very overdue paycheck so I can go buy one. Praying more often. When I listen to music, I feel more of the love and inspirational elements of the song than normal. I suppose I'm about to go on a spiritual binge or something. Haven't done that, what, since 1993-5, the Bewilderness era.


So, talk about timing. Day before yesterday, My little girl said Hilary Duff's song "Fly" was good, and I got her the album from PirateBay (clearly, my sudden slant on spirituality doesn't keep me from stealing MP3s LOL!). She's right--it's a great song--sung by a man with a band arrangement, it might have been 80's glam-rock. I know that if I were really "awake," it'd be buffeting my chakras--during those zones, I can't listen to anything but classical, and I can feel the music in my torso, as if each instrument is a color and they are playing a pattern inside me. Apparently I'm still a psychic brick, since I've been listening to this song overly loud in headphones and loving it. It is a bit inspirational (for pop, haha), and maybe I like it because the lyrics tie into my current feelings:



Any moment, everything can change . . . feel the wind on your shoulder

For a minute, all the world can wait . . . let go of your yesterday

Can you hear it calling? Can you feel it in your soul?

Can you trust this longing? And take control --


Fly ! . . . Open up the part of you that wants to hide away

You can shine . . . forget about the reasons why you cant in life, and start to try

Cause it's your time . . . time to fly



I feel like it's time to come home to the center, to that feeling 'through my middle' that I am tied into the universe, so to speak. I miss Michael... I miss that faith. Maybe it's time to give up the wandering and get back to work.

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