Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Breaking News!

Archived from the former firedocs blog. 01 April 2006

So many amazing things have happened lately! Lots cooking. Do I smell a ROAST??

Psychology professor and popular anti-psi lecture-circuit speaker Ray Hyman has finally come down off that high horse which inspired his infamous quote in the AIR report, "There is an 'effect' here but I don't wish to call it psi." After years of more careful evaluation he has finally decided to call it "voodoo" and has been seen wearing a funny looking hat all over campus.

Legendary viewer Joseph McMoneagle was recently quoted by the Japanese media as admitting that he is not, actually, the greatest viewer on Earth. This sudden attack of modesty was followed by a coughing fit so severe he required medical attention. McMoneagle, a viewer-dowser and prophet, known as the most scientifically tested psychic and already a national TV star in Japan, was gesturing oddly and speaking at media cameras as the paramedics wheeled him away, but Nippon authorities refuse to confirm or deny rumors that he was yelling, "Soylent Green Is Peeeeeeoppppllllle!"

Back in the states, the IRVA's annual conference is coming up! In a daring break with tradition, IRVA leader and dynamic psi adventurer Stephan Schwartz is planning to dedicate his RV speech time to a political rally for the Right instead of the Left this year, as a gracious nod to the fact that all the STAR GATE guys were gun-toting soldier dudes and they aren't so bad really. The eminent Dr. Jessica Utts is planned to be at this conference too, with a talk entitled "Why It's OK To Hang With NewAgerbils As Long As You're Educating Them." A good lecture from her is worth the cover price. Seriously.

Remote viewing's fatherly Ingo Swann will be giving his annual IRVA public speech, "Why I Am Almost Never In Public." Similar to previous years (and again to great disappointment), Swann who is the author of some of the most amazing UFO books and claims ever, is rumored to be insisting that again, he "has no desire to talk about UFOs." Rumors also abound that the eBay market for his curious combo of 'in-demand, self-published but out-of-print' book Penetration is now providing eBay marketers an income slightly greater than Norway's GNP. Though he says there is no republishing planned for it, Swann does plan to publish another couple hundred chapters in his internet book Remote Viewing: The Real Story, which I believe should bring it up to about the year 1882.

If that isn't enough to tempt you into buying tickets, engineer Dr. Dean Radin is soon to be publishing his book on psi and physics. Radin's previous book The Conscious Universe was so inspiring that street buzz about his new book is more popular this week than even Pregnant Martians and Bush The Reptilian stories. Pre-order his book at boys and girls (please... he still owes Dr. Dossey a bunch for that review quote!). (No but seriously -- his last book was great. I'm sure this one will be too. He'll be speaking there too.) Get tickets for the IRVA conf at

Scientist Michael Persinger privately admitted to New Scientist magazine recently that a new version of his Magnetic Helmet not only caused the subject to claim he was suffering a simultaneous alien abduction, IRS auditing and the smell of peanut butter, but the subject reported that the lab's wall opened up and funky men with pins in their faces appeared. Unfortunately no follow up on this has been possible, as no members of Dr. Persinger's household or lab have been seen since.

Meanwhile over at TKR, the truly unexpected has happened: at least one "world expert at RV" has been seen doing a session provably in-protocol to demonstrate their amazing skill!

Riiiiight. Hey! Happy April Fool's Day y'all!

{Hey! This was humor, for anybody who doesn't perceive my feeble attempts above! Thanks to Rich's RV Roast and Gene's 2003 IRVA Conference Suggestions for the inspiration.}

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